1
“It was a dark and stormy day in the Magic Kingdom, but, as they say in Central Florida, ‘If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes.’ That is exactly what I, Lachlan King, did, and to the surprise of none, five minutes later the summer storm had efficiently let up. This was great news for me as I had been in the act of crossing the Most Magical Place in The Word to ride Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Little did he know that that one attraction would change the course of his life forever.
“Thankfully, the wait line for Big Thunder Mountain was significantly shorter than it would normally have been at eleven in the morning on a summer day in the most popular vacation destination in the world, and after a relatively brief pause, I found myself alone in a mine train themed ride vehicle except for one elderly man in the row ahead of me.
“The elderly man violently, and quite rudely, waved his hand at the Cast Member reminding him to push down his row’s lap bar. I’m ashamed to admit that I immediately formed a bad opinion of this man, even though I’d never seen him before. However, I, being the King of Lachlania, did not have time to worry about such peasants.
“I was quite surprised to be in an almost empty ride vehicle, but I put it out of my mind as the train began its raucous journey through the mountain.
“After I removed my personage from the ride vehicle once the attraction ended, I heard a blood-curdling scream from some poor middle-aged lady. I quickly pivoted on my royal feet to see what the problem was. The Cast Member was standing next to the grouchy, elderly man, who still hadn’t gotten up out of the faux mine train. She frantically pulled out her phone, and from the one-side of the conversation that I was able to make out, she had called 911.
“Natural curiosity overtook me, and I walked back to the vehicle. It didn’t take a second to realize why the Cast Member was panicking. The old man was slumped forward in his seat, a small hole in the back of his head bleeding crazily.
“Once the female Cast Member got off the phone, I spent the next couple of minutes trying to calm her down. Before I knew it, a swarm of Disney security and police officers descended on the area, and the rest you obviously know.”
“Thank you, for your cooperation, Mr. King. You can finish your day in the park, and please don’t leave town. We are viewing you as a person of interest in this investigation.
2
“Well, do you believe him?” A man, closer to sixty years old than fifty, with an air of authority around him, looked over the stainless steel table he had been sitting at for fifteen minutes. The interrogation room was now empty save for the man who had just spoken and a young female. The former, Jack Turner, was referring to the narrative he and his partner had just heard.
Lilian Turner thought for a moment before responding to her father and partner at the Orlando Police Department. “I don’t see a reason to doubt anything he said, at the moment. He admitted he didn’t like Richard Hunt, and everything after the ride ended matched the Cast Member’s story.”
“True, but he is the only person who could have killed Mr. Hunt. He was alive and well when the ride started, but dead when it ended. And this so-called King of Lachlania, which I didn’t even know existed, was the only other person in the ride vehicle.”
As the elder Turner finished speaking, another officer entered the interrogation room in the underground levels of Magic Kingdom’s Utilidor. The officer walked over to the table, handed Lilian a manila folder, and left without saying a word. In the center of the folder was a crisp white label reading, “King, Lachlan Background Check.”
“That took longer than expected,” commented Mr. Turner. “Is there anything of interest?”
Since she was reading the report, it took Lilian a few moments to respond. “Yeah, it says that he suffers from a mental disease called “Chunibyo”, commonly found in kids wanting to stand out from their peers. However, in his case it’s particularly severe and has practically consumed his identity so that for the last seventeen years, he’s thirty now, he has believed he is the king of a made-up country called Lachlania.”
“That is one messed up condition.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t just affect him. He’s gotten into multiple altercations with people who denied the existence of Lachlania. He once served three years in the big house for aggravated assault, but got out early on good behavior.”
“Yeah, he’s definitely our guy!” Turner Sr. thumped his hand down onto the table, while simultaneously rising from his chair.
“Pause a second there, Dad. Let’s go over the current evidence before we do anything rash.” Lilian tossed a photograph over to her dad. “This came with the background check.” Jack Turner instantly recognized it as a souvenir photo guests could purchase after an attraction. The photo clearly showed Lachlan King sitting calmly behind Richard Hunt as the Big Thunder mine train sped down a hill. The interesting thing about the photo was that Hunt was turned around and talking to Lachlan.
“So, this clearly shows that Lachaln King lied to us about not knowing Mr. Hunt,” commented Jack Turner. “What about security camera footage? That undoubtedly shows Lachlan committing the crime.”
Lilian answered that she hadn’t seen the footage yet. So the father and daughter left the interrogation room and began the trek across the Utilidor to the security room.
Contrary to the Magic Kingdom above, the Utilidors are quite bland. The passages have concrete floors, brick walls, and ceiling that reveal the vast array of pipes that are necessary to run the overhead activities. Besides golf carts, only two vehicles are allowed to run in the passages. A security truck that picks up cash from around the park every night and an ambulance. The passages, however, are so narrow that, if one of these vehicles is in movement, it only has two inches on either side between it and the walls. The main purpose of the Utilidor is to hide the everyday activities that are necessary to run a theme park from the park’s guests.
After a ten-minute trek, which included getting lost three different times, the Turners finally reached their destination.
“I was told you would be coming,” greeted a smiling female Cast Member. She was sitting in front of a wall covered from top-to-bottom with screens showing real-time videos of every attraction in the park. “The one you are looking for is up there.” She pointed at a monitor on the far right side, two down from the top. “Don’t know if you’ll be able to get anything from it though.” The Cast Member hit a button on a keyboard below the monitor, and it showed Lachlan and the victim walking onto the ride. The vehicle took off, and the monitor changed from camera to camera to follow it. As soon as the vehicle was out of view from the starting platform, Richard Hunt turned around to talk to Lachlan. Lachlan didn’t look at all taken aback and listened attentively. The video showed him briefly saying something, then Hunt turned back to his original position. The angle changed suddenly so, that it showed the train speeding around rock spires and geysers with the Rivers of America and Tom Sawyer in the background. The angle changed to show the train going behind a large rock, blocking off the view of Tom Sawyer Island. However, instead of changing to another view of the ride, the monitor went black.
“What happened to the rest of the footage?” interjected Jack.
The Cast Member looked nervous as she answered, “The other half of the cameras are scheduled to be replaced after park closing tonight, so they weren’t activated.”
“Well, that’s convenient, isn’t it?” said Lilian. “I think we need to have another talk with Lachlan King.”
3
“This is highway robbery!”
That is the thought most people have at one point in time on a Disney vacation. However, Lachlan King had no such worries. The King of Lachlania didn’t have time for petty worries about things like money.
Lachlan was now sitting in the dining room of Be Our Guest restaurant in Fantasyland. Be Our Guest, a restaurant themed to the Beast’s castle from Beauty and the Beast, is the most expensive and hardest to get dining reservation in the park, so naturally, Mr. King assumed he’d be able to go without a reservation. After promptly being denied entry due to that fact and after being told that Lachlania didn’t exist, Lachlan asked if there were any spots open for a later time and was informed that a reservation had just opened up.
Now, he pondered the events of the morning while enjoying a Croque Monsier and a glass of Joseph Drouhin Laforet Pinot Noir Red Wine. He was positively sure he didn’t murder the man, as most people are when accused of a crime they didn’t commit, but he had to admit that it didn’t look good for him. He had been the only person with an opportunity to kill him. Thankfully, the police didn’t know about his private conversation with Mr. Hunt, or he would really be in the thick of things.
At that moment, Lilian Turner walked up to his table and promptly sat down across from him. “We know about your conversation with Richard Hunt.” Lachlan almost let out an audible groan but somehow managed to stop himself. “You wanna tell us what that was about?” She asked.
“Frankly, no, I don’t,” he replied. “But I realize that not telling you would make me look even more guilty. . . .” He put in a dramatic pause here. “. . . Richard contacted me a while ago about a proposition. He and my father had once been business partners in my country of origin, Australia. They had a falling-out a couple of decades ago when Richard secretly sold the company for huge personal gain. Two years ago my father tragically died in a car accident on his way to a reconciliation meeting with Richard. Some in my family view Richard as responsible for his death, but I assure you that I am not one of them. The reason Richard and I met today was because he believed someone from my family was trying to murder him. He had recently received several death threats inscribed with the King family crest, and he wanted me to figure out who was responsible for them. He offered me five million dollars to do it, which, of course, I told him was unnecessary given the fact that I’m a king.”
“And you were okay with selling out your family?”
“Well, yeah,” Lachlan answered without hesitation. “I’m no longer close with anyone who believes that Mr. Hunt had anything to do with my dad’s death, and I wasn’t going to let one of them murder an innocent man.”
“Alright, Mr. Lachlan, I’ve decided to believe you,” Lilian replied. “Who do you think killed him?”
“I don’t have to guess, I know. There was always one person in my family who was more serious about revenge on Mr. Hunt than anyone else: my older brother.”
“Okay, do you have any proof to substantiate that accusation?” Lilian had heard many tales of evil older brothers committing crimes to be blamed on the younger, which inevitably ended up being complete lies.
“No, I don’t, but you might be able to find some. His name is Liam King, and he’s on the Frontierland maintenance crew.”
4
Tom Sawyer Island, one of the largest Disney attractions ever, can be found in numerous parks all over the world, but what sets it apart from any other Disney attraction is not its size. It is the only attraction completely designed by Walt Disney himself. After a couple of lengthy and roundabout interviews, Lilian and Lachlan had found out that Liam was currently in the process of maintaining one of the fort’s life-like-looking rifles. Fort Longhorn, a colonial-era replica, has a plethora of these rifles and a couple of cannons that kids can pretend to fire out in the direction of Big Thunder Mountain and the Rivers of America.
“Hey, Liam, haven’t seen you in a couple of years,” greeted Lachlan as he and Lilian approached their prey. They were currently in the fourth of the fort’s four towers. This one was pointing in the direction of Adventureland and Big Thunder.
Liam King, who evidently had just finished replacing one of the colonial rifles (as there was an identical rifle on the ground), looked up as they entered. “There’s a reason we haven’t seen each other in a couple of years,” Liam replied, but realizing he sounded quite rude he added, “Is there a reason you came up here? It’s supposed to be closed for maintenance.”
“Yeah, there is.” Lilian took the lead. “You see, a murder was committed this morning on the Mine Train, and we have reason to believe you had a motive for the crime. The victim was a man named Richard Hunt.”
“Hmm, you better believe I had a motive, but there’s no way I could have killed him. Besides, I was up here doing my job at the time, multiple witnesses can account for that, and I thought my bro here was the only other person on the ride?”
Lachlan and Lilian returned a success-filled nod. “You’re correct. I was the only other person on the ride, but the police haven’t made any statement as to the crime, so how exactly would you have known that?”
Liam began to back away from the guns and in the direction of the door. “I spotted you from up here, didn’t you notice the window?” he said with a sneer.
“Funny you should mention the window, as it’s what our entire case against you rests on. When a kid visits Walt Disney World, Cast Members work as hard as possible to keep the Disney magic alive. That is why all maintenance work is done overnight, however, your supervisor told us that you made a special push to fix this one rifle during the day. The same day that you knew the Big Thunder Mine Train security cameras would down. Richard Hunt made a public announcement months ago that he would be traveling to Disney World, and you knew this was your big chance to get revenge for Dad’s death. Because Big Thunder Mountain is such a popular attraction, you knew he would go in it at some point today. So you switched out the colonial rifle facing Thunder Mountain with a real one.” Lachlan pointed down at the gun on the wood floor. “You carefully waited all morning for him, and the moment you saw the mine train with only him and me on it you took your chance. But best of all, the perfect frame job had fallen directly into your lap, as I had been the other person on the train. Unfortunately for you, you had to take multiple shots to make sure you hit him. The other bullets have been found on the mountain and undoubtedly will match that gun. You’ve lost.”
“I haven’t lost yet!” Liam yelled as he hit Lachlan in the gut, opening up a way to get through the door, which he speedily bolted through.
“Don’t worry, we’ve got him,” said Lilian to Lachlan as he struggled to get up.
5
Liam King ran down the fort’s steps like his life depended on it. He knew the police would be waiting for him at the exit to the island or maybe even the exit to the fort, so he quickly ducked through a dark hole in the wall, on the Liberty Square side of the fort. This secret passage would take him to the edge of Tom Sawyer’s Island where he could swim to the far shore and exit through the backstage area.
“Haha, there’s no way that windbag brother of mine will be able to catch me!” He gleefully said into the darkness.
“He might not be able to but I can.” A light suddenly filled the passageway and exposed the narrow rock walls. In front of Liam stood Jack Turner holding a pistol, leveled at his prey’s chest.
Three weeks later all the central Florida newspaper headlines read thus, “SUSPECT IN WDW MURDER CASE PLEADS GUILTY! SENTENCED WITH THIRTY YEARS IN PRISON!”
The End.
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