Writing 2 Class Notes -- Week 5 (September 26)

Greetings!

After a few weeks of lighter-hearted Quick Writes, I chose a more serious topic for today.  Using the following quote from Mark Twain, I asked to the students to comment on the relationship of writing to truth. 

"Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use."

I also chose our Words of the Day since I had forgotten my alphabet dice at home.  The words were:  jojoba (Spanish; a small shrub whose waxy substance taken from the seeds is used in shampoo products), jodhpurs (Hindi; a style of riding breeches cut wide at the hip and close fitting at the calf), and joie de vivre (French; enjoyment of life or general enthusiasm).

I handed back their first Final Drafts for this class.  They all did a very good job.  I'm excited about seeing them grow as writers.  I'm trying a new method for evaluating their papers. (As a matter of information, pre-writes, which we will start doing after this next paper, are worth 5 points; rough drafts are 10; final drafts are 40; and 5 reasons for corrections are 5.)  In the past, I gave 10 points in each of the following three areas:  content, organization, and mechanics.  I've devised an Essay Rubric for Writing 2 that looks more holistically at different areas related to the writing of the essay.  In addition to the 3 areas mentioned above, I will also evaluate the thesis, introduction, and conclusion of the paper.  I've attached an unmarked copy for you to look at.  I've found that students will struggle in one area but will do really well in another.  This rubric not only takes into account strengths and areas needing growth, but it also can help the student choose which area he/she would like to work on.  Today we went through each area and each level of writing (Beginning, Developing, Proficient, Exceptional).  Please let me know if you have any questions or comments.

After our writing discussion, we covered some more Grammar.  Today the topic was parallel structures.  Often you read a sentence, and you know that it doesn't flow smoothly, but you're not quite sure why.  A common mistake for writers to make is when they are listing items, and they use faulty parallel construction.  We broke into groups and the students came up with 2 bad sentences for the rest of us to correct.

Our literature discussion was brief.  We are in a new section of My Antonia.  Jim as moved into town with his grandparents, and Antonia has moved in with his neighbors as a "hired girl."  We are also moving away from the rich descriptions of the prairie as Jim's life is more consumed with his relationships with the people in town, especially the variety of hired girls.

Assignments for Next Week:

-- Grammar Worksheet on Parallel Structures

-- Read p. 94 - 118 of My Antonia

-- Using the study guide, answer 2 questions from Week 5 and 2 questions from Week 6 (4 all together.)

This week's blogs:

Class Notes

Essay Writing Rubric

Parallel Structures

Have a great weekend!

Mrs. Prichard

Parallel Phrases

WEEK 4  – Parallel Structure, part 1

One of the ways writers can improve their writing is to use parallel structure when the text demands the use of a coordinating conjunction to join words, phrases, or clauses; also, when the text demands items in a series (three or more); and finally when the text demands the use of correlative conjunctions.  In each of these three cases, the writer is obligated to “express himself in the same grammatical form,” pairing like items together.  Parallel structure is also effective with comparisons.

Using parallel structure consists of writing using like grammatical terms.  ‘Like grammatical terms” means nouns with nouns, gerund phrases with gerund phrases, etc.

            Examples:

– Wrong:  Prevent dust buildup by cleaning your computer monthly and dust your house weekly.

– Corrected:  Prevent dust buildup by cleaning your computer monthly and by dusting your house weekly.

– OR:  Clean your computer monthly and dust your house weekly in order to prevent dust buildup.

– Wrong:  I love to read and writing.

– Corrected:  I love to read and to write.

– OR:  I love reading and writing.

USING COORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS IN PARALLEL STRUCTURE

“Coordinating” means equivalent.  When a coordinating conjunction is used, those elements must be the same grammatical form.  Items (words, phrases, clauses, and sentences) in a series (three or more) demand the use of parallel structure.

Words in a Series

Examples:

– Wrong:  Most students consider the SAT impossible, useless, and a waste of time. (adj., adj., & noun)

– Corrected:  Most students consider the SAT impossible, useless, and wasteful.  (adj., adj., & adj.)

– Wrong:  Tony considers himself a good father, a loving husband, and in a good occupation.  (noun, noun, prep. phrase)

– Corrected  Tony considers himself a good father, a loving husband, and a hard worker. (noun, noun, noun)

Phrases in a Series

Prepositional, gerund, participial, and infinitive phrases by simple definition are groups of words that do not contain a verb, although the last three will have words resembling verbs (designated as verbals).  When phrases are used, each must be the same, grammatically as the others.

Prepositional Phrase

Example:

– Wrong:  Over the river, through the woods, and climbing the mountain, we trekked to grandmother’s house.  (prep. phrase, prep. phrase, verb)

– Corrected:  Over the river, through the woods, and up the mountain, we trekked to grandmother’s house.  (prep. phrase, prep. phrase, prep. phrase)

Gerund (Noun) Phrase

Example:

– Wrong:  Rushing the quarterback, protecting their own players, and when they recovered a fumble won the game for the Colts.  (gerund, gerund, participial phrase)

– Corrected:  Rushing the quarterback, protecting their own players, and when they recovered a fumble won the game for the Colts.  (gerund, gerund, participial phrase)

Participial Phrase

Example:

– Wrong:  Captain Ahab, pacing the deck, while he was exhorting his crew, and seeking only one thing, turned the Pequod into a nightmare for the mates and the crew.  (part. phrase, adverb clause, part. phrase)

– Corrected:  Captain Ahab, pacing the deck, exhorting his crew, and seeking only one thing, turned the Pequod into a nightmare for the mates and the crew.  (part. phrase, part. phrase,, part. phrase)

Infinitive Phrases

Infinitive phrases are the most complicated only because they can be used as nouns, adjectives, or adverbs. 

Examples:

Nouns:  To pet a cat, to sit in the woods, and to handle weeds makes one itchy.

Adjectives:  Kathy developed a plan to ride her bike, to clip coupons, and to budget for vacations.

Adverbs:  For punishment, I was made to sit in the corner, to read a grammar book, and to write essays.

Clauses in a Series

Examples:

Adjective Clauses:  The crew of the ship was composed of men (who drank great quantities of beer on land,) (who lived wildly while not at sea,) but (who knew their business and toiled bravely in the terrible conditions of the sea.)

Noun Clauses:  (The Joe Dimaggio connected himself to the Mafia,) (that he carried the Yankees to a record number of World Series wins,) and (that he attracted beautiful women define him as a complicated character.)

Adverb Clauses:  Mark Twain reigns as an unforgettable literary figure because he traveled the Mississippi River,) (because he wrote for newspapers,) and (because he lectured about his many books.)

Sentences in a Series

Sentences in a series are actually compound sentences.  The writer can string as many  sentences together as he wants, as many as he needs to convey ideas.  When combining a series (three or more) it must remain parallel.

Essay Rubric for Writing 2

Essay Rubric for Writing 2

Criterion	Beginning (2 – 0)	Developing (5 – 3)	Proficient (8– 6)	Exceptional (10 - 9)
Focus:  Thesis, Introduction, Conclusion	Specific topic is unclear and no statement of an opinion or a stand. Lacks a clear introduction. No conclusion.	Thesis statement expresses the topic but not an opinion or a stand. Weak introduction that states the topic but is missing a clear thesis. The focus of the paper is unclear. Conclusion does not fully summarize the main points nor restates the thesis statement.	Thesis statement includes the topic and expresses a stand or opinion. Introduction states topic and thesis and gives direction to the paper. Conclusion reiterates main points and restates the thesis statement.	Clearly-stated, thoughtful & compelling thesis statement. Strong introduction with a thesis statement that grabs attention and directs the course of the essay. Strong conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates the thesis statement.  Satisfactorily wraps up the essay.
Content	No major points to support the thesis are included.  Few details have been used. Ideas are disconnected.	Some of the major points are covered. Some specific details are included. Lacks sufficient material to fully support thesis.	All major points are covered. Appropriate details are included with each point.	All major points are thoroughly and insightfully discussed. All points are fully supported with strong details.
Organization	Ideas are arranged randomly.  There may be no division of paragraphs.	Like ideas are grouped together, and paragraphs are present, but ideas within may not be organized logically.  Transitions may be lacking.	An apparent progression of ideas that allows the reader to move through the text without confusion. Sentences with paragraphs are organized and flow smoothly	Expresses a clear, logical sequence of ideas within paragraphs and throughout the paper. Sentences within paragraphs flow smoothly with good use of transitions.
Mechanics	Frequent errors, seriously impairs flow & meaning of paper	Errors noticeable, and occasionally detract from flow or meaning of paper	Some errors, which are minor in nature and don’t detract from overall meaning of paper	Essentially faultless; errors may result from risk-taking and do not detract from meaning of paper.

Total Score – 40 possible points

Process Analysis Essay

Process Analysis Essay

Definition

            In the process analysis essay, the writer describes how to do something or how something happens by describing the steps or stages in the process.  The writer breaks down the process into steps and describes them in detail in order to inform or persuade the reader about the process.  Process analysis by be used to describe a simple process such as how to bake a cake or change the oil in a car, or it may be used to describe a complex process such as scientific experiments or works of Congress.

Organization of a Process Essay

            The process you are analyzing will dictate the structure of your essay.  Break the process down into its component parts (or steps) and structure your writing around logical divisions in the process you are analyzing.

Thesis Statements

            The thesis or topic statement names the process that will be described or analyzed.  Often the thesis contains an attitude or opinion about the process.

            Examples:

– Changing a tire is easy if you follow the right steps.

– Anyone can fail a class if he tries hard enough.

– It is important for citizens to know how ideas become laws.

Tips on Planning

1.    First, divide the process into logical parts.  Decide what actions you would take and in what order they would happen.

2.    Next, list the individual steps or stages in the process, making sure not to leave out any steps, including any preparation that might be necessary.

3.    Describe each step in detail.  Try not to leave anything out.  Remember that your readers may not be familiar with the process you are describing, so your directions will have to be explicit and complete. 

4.    Anticipate any problems that might arise at each step in the process, and tell the reader how to avoid or remedy the problem.

5.    Avoid incomplete details.

Essay Guidelines

– Due dates:  Rough Draft due September 26; Final Draft due October 10

– Essay length:  500 – 700 words (between 2 and 4 pages)

– Rough drafts can be typed or hand-written, but must be double-spaced.

– Final draft format:

– Typed (if this is not possible, please let me know)

– 1 inch margins

– Name and date on the upper right hand corner

– Number the pages on the lower right hand corner

– Title centered above the text of the essayv

Writing 1 Class Notes -- Week 4 (September 19)

Greetings!

We had a good class this week.  It was "Talk Like a Pirate Day," so our Quick Write was a story about anything pirate related.  And our Words of the Day were from a list of pirate terminology:

Ahoy!  ("Hello")

Avast!  ("Check it out.")

Aye, Aye!  ("Yes, sir!")

Beauty  (a pretty woman or a boat)

Bilge rat  (The bilge is the lowest level of the ship loaded with slimy, reeking water -- this would be an insult for a person)

Lubber  (a land lubber is a "land lover;"  someone who would not be comfortable on a boat)

Smartly  (do something quickly; not a comment on intellectual abilities)

The students handed in their Final Drafts of their Personal Commentary Essays along with their rough drafts and a list of 5 reasons for corrections they made.  I'll read them this week and hand them back next week.  Our next essay is a Process Essay.  (I've attached the hand out that I gave them that describes this assignment.)  We spent some time talking about how to write these with thesis statements.  We looked at timelines, mindmaps, and flow charts as pre-writing strategies.

We've finished the first part of My Antonia.  The novel is divided into "Books" and sections within the books.  The portion we just finished was titled "The Shimerdas" and told about Jim's and Antonia's childhood days.  In class we discussed the suicide death of Mr. Shimerda and the challenges of immigrants.

For our Grammar discussion, we reviewed Simple Sentences and Compound Sentences before I gave them a handout on Complex Sentences.

Assignments for Next Week:

-- Write the rough draft of the Process Essay

-- Read pages 70 - 94 in My Antonia.

-- Complete the worksheets for Complex Sentences

Have a great week!

Mrs. Prichard

Writing 2 Class Notes -- Week 3 (September 12)

Greetings!

The weather has turned, and it really is beginning to feel like fall.  Sometimes I think it's hard to settle down to school when it feels like a hot summer day.

The theme for our Quick Write this week was "Let's Cook," and I asked the students to write about a favorite food or menu or about anything that had to do with cooking. Our Words of the Day were "repartee"  (a conversation filled with quick, witty responses) and "ombudsman" (a government official who investigates complaints ab out other government officials.)  

We spent a larger block of time discussing the book, My Antonia, since we had not done so the week before.  In the chapters we read, we've gotten to know Jim Burden and his grandparents and  Antonia Shimerda and her family.  We looked at some of the challenges of the cultural clashes that occur when immigrant of various nationalities live in the same area.  We also talked about the differences in some of the characters and about a defining moment for Jim when he killed a "grand-daddy" of snakes.

I handed back the rough drafts of the Personal Commentary Essays with notes and corrections.  I always learn so much from the topics that my students choose to write about.  Usually, our Grammar discussion for the day when rough drafts are returned is spent on common errors found in their essays.  Most best writing practices happen as student write.  And most grammar rules tend to "stick" when encountered while writing.

When students hand in their Final Drafts of a paper, I also want them to hand in the Rough Draft.  That allows me to see what changes they have made.  I also want them on a separate piece of paper explain the reasons behind 5 corrections they made between the rough drafts and the final drafts.  For example, if a contraction was used, the reason and correction could look like this:

1.  Changed can't to can not because contractions are not used in formal essays.

Assignments for Next Week:

-- Read p. 47 - 69 of My Antonia.  No writing assignment for the literature this week.

-- Write the Final Draft of the Personal Commentary Essay.

     -- Along with the Final Draft, students should hand in their rough drafts.

-- Write out the reasons for 5 corrections.

Enjoy the beautiful Fall weekend!

Mrs. Prichard

Week 2 Grammar Worksheets -- Sentence Fragments & Run-Ons

DIRECTIONS Determine which of the following word groups are sentence
fragments and which are complete sentences.
If the group of words is a complete sentence, write S.
If the group of words is a fragment, write F.
______ 1. If your parents think today’s fashions are weird.
______ 2. They should see the clothes people wore in the Middle Ages.
______ 3. Patterns of floral or geometric shapes popular.
______ 4. Liked clothes that were half one color and half another.
______ 5. Might have one green leg and one red leg.
______ 6. People often heavy leather belts decorated with metal and jewels.
______ 7. Edges of clothing into shapes called dagges.
______ 8. Sleeves with streamers that were two or three feet long.
______ 9. Shoes had long toes that were padded to retain their shape.
______ 10. Tights of velvet or silk.
______ 11. When clothes were edged and lined in fur.
______ 12. Layers very common in medieval clothing.
______ 13. Was a way of displaying wealth.
______ 14. The more clothes a person could afford to wear, the wealthier that person was.
______ 15. Might wear a short-sleeved tunic over a long-sleeved tunic, with a sleeveless mantle
over all.
______ 16. The usual head covering for men a hood with an attached shoulder cape and a long,
extended point, like a tail.
______ 17. Women wore a neckcloth pinned to their braids, hiding their hair.
______ 18. On top of the head, would wear a veil, a linen crown, or a small, round hat.
______ 19. In the later Middle Ages, women wore jeweled metal nets over their coiled braids.
______ 20. Current fashions a little boring in comparison.

Copyright © by Holt, Rinehart and Winston. All rights reserved.
____________________________________________________________

DIRECTIONS Determine which of the following word groups are sentence
fragments and which are complete sentences.
If the group of words is a complete sentence, write S.
If the group of words is a fragment, write F.
______ 1. Antarctica has the highest average elevation of the seven continents.
______ 2. No native people on Antarctica.
______ 3. Because it is too cold.
______ 4. Although scientists and other workers live in Antarctica for about a year at a time.
______ 5. These people there to study many things.
______ 6. Examine the ozone layer, sleep patterns, and fish survival in subzero temperatures.
______ 7. Ninety-five percent of Antarctica covered with ice.
______ 8. Antarctica approximately 70 percent of the world’s fresh water in its ice.
______ 9. Even though Antarctica is covered in ice and snow, it can be considered a desert.
______ 10. Adesert an area that gets very little precipitation.
______ 11. Antarctica receives only two inches of rain each year.
______ 12. Also has very high winds.
______ 13. Sometimes winds as high as 200 miles per hour.
______ 14. Many animals in the ocean around Antarctica.
______ 15. Include whales and seals.
______ 16. One type of bird found on Antarctica is the penguin.
______ 17. Antarctica so isolated that its snow and ice are very pure.
______ 18. The continent is far away from pollution.
______ 19. Amountain range across the continent.
______ 20. Antarctica’s Mount Erebus an active volcano.

Copyright © by Holt, Rinehart and Winston. All rights reserved.
_____________________________________________________________

DIRECTIONS Decide which of the following groups of words are run-on sentences.
If the group of words is correct, write C; if it is a run-on, write R.
Revise each run-on sentence by (1) making it two separate sentences or
(2) using a comma and a coordinating conjunction.
EXAMPLE Bears can live in many different habitats, they occupy mountains, forests,
and arctic wilderness.
______ 1. Brown bears include the grizzly and the kodiak, the largest brown bear is the kodiak.
______ 2. Kodiak bears weigh as much as 1,700 pounds, they grow to a height of ten feet.
______ 3. Bears can live more than 30 years in the wild.
______ 4. Bears’ sense of smell is more developed than their hearing or sight.
______ 5. Females give birth to as many as four cubs, the cubs stay with their mother two
or three years.
______ 6. Many people are afraid of bears, encounters with bears are actually infrequent.
______ 7. Grizzly bears are solitary animals, they do not want to interact with people.
______ 8. Generally, bears attack only when they are surprised, or when they are protecting
their young.
______ 9. People should always store food and garbage properly, bears could be attracted by
the smell.
______ 10. Never try to outrun a bear, it can run more than 30 miles per hour.

Copyright © by Holt, Rinehart and Winston. All rights reserved.
________________________________________________________

DIRECTIONS Decide which of the following groups of words are run-on sentences.
If the group of words is correct, write C; if it is a run-on, write R.
Revise each run-on sentence by (1) making it two separate sentences or
(2) using a comma and a coordinating conjunction.
EXAMPLE Albert Einstein was one of the greatest thinkers of the twentieth
century, he changed the way people view the universe.
______ 1. School in Munich was too rigid and boring for young Einstein he did not do well.
______ 2. However, young Einstein showed a talent for mathematics, at the age of 12,
he taught himself Euclidean geometry.
______ 3. After finishing secondary school, he entered the Federal Polytechnic Academy
in Switzerland, he did not like the teaching methods there.
______ 4. The academy frustrated him he could learn in a way that interested him.
______ 5. Einstein chose to educate himself, he missed classes often and spent the time studying
physics on his own.
______ 6. His professors had low opinions of him, he graduated anyway in 1900.
______ 7. In 1905, he published a paper on physics the University of Zürich awarded him a Ph.D.
for this work.
______ 8. In the same year, he published four more papers that presented new thoughts on the
nature of light and other important concepts.
______ 9. Physicists resisted his ideas at first, eventually his general theory of relativity was
confirmed through observation.
______ 10. Einstein achieved international recognition, in 1921 he received the Nobel Prize
in physics.

Copyright © by Holt, Rinehart and Winston. All rights reserved.
___________________________________________________________